Monday's Versus
The weekend gives a few of us here at The Skip-Raid some pent-up anger (please see Friday's post). So we like to have a little segment called Versus. In honour of the many hours we spent drinking this weekend, this week's Versus: Diarreah Vs. Vomiting
We have each picked a side. LET'S RUMBLE!!
DIARREAH: I like to think of diarrhea as a natural extension of a process we partake in every day (less so when camping, if you know what I mean).
VOMITING: Really smartass? So is vomiting if you're bulimic. Seriously, how many times have you eaten something that makes you barf as opposed to something that makes you shit? Diarreah happens much more than vomiting does.
DIARREAH: Well, unlike puking, which is generally associated with being hideously drunk or being afflicted with food poisoning or stomach flu, the squirts can simply be the result of a little too much Chinese food or a particularly greasy burrito. It's not that bad. It gives you time to get to a toilet, unlike vomiting which gives you a 't-minus 3 seconds' heads-up.
VOMITING: Not true - you can usually tell when you are about to vom. I win.
DIARREAH: No, you don't. Upchucking is always uncomfortable and leaves your mouth tasting like ass, while diarrhea is really more of a swift, smooth, transitionary phase of your bowels, and has no negative effects on your minty fresh breath. While getting the skitters can be noisy, puking is also capable of being very loud. Losing your lunch produces a venerable symphony of cacophony, while loose pooping sounds almost pleasant, and nearly always hilarious.
VOMITING: Although a good shit makes the bathroom smell for a solid 45 minutes afterwards. Vomiting leaves the bathroom ready for the next person ready to defile it. Vomiting is respectful of others like that.
DIARREAH: But there is one simple fact that forever renders puking a worse thing than diarrhea: You can die from barfing.
VOMITING: No you can't. Only if you are vomiting while in a coma or something.
DIARREAH: Vomiting is responsible for the break up of Led Zeppelin, folks. I rest my case.
VOMITING: Shit. You win.
WINNER: Diarreah. Having the shits puts your ass in horrible pain for about 10 minutes, but a hangover can last all goddamn day. We'd rather have the booze-poos than feel nauseous everytime one of our friends offers to buy us a "warm pork sandwich dipped in whiskey" (just to get us to barf).
