Ginger Tuesdays

There is something we haven't been addressing when it comes to Gingers; Ginger Animals. Now, I don't mean "all Gingers are inhuman animals"; I mean little gingey pets. Little balls of fluff with a secret hatred of all things non-Ginger.
"But all little animals are God's creatures! They love all things unconditionally!"
Bup-bup-bup, shaddup. Ginger animals are just like Ginger humans, they hate everything that can go into the sun without SPF-80 and secretly wish to take over the world. Take for example this little gingey fluff-puff:"I'm a cute widdle puffy dog! I'm adorable! I can fit in your purse and poop rainbows! When I die I turn into a pile of glitter and make the wind sparkle!" I bet you are thinking "this Ginger dog is not all bad; it looks adorable, and look how cute it's being with that little chick!" Oh yeah, he's being just such a prince.A-HA! I told you so! Only a dirty soulless Ginger dog would eat a poor little baby chick. Disgusting. You turn your back for one minute, and the dog loses control. Do you want to take a chance with a murder-crazed Ginger dog? It pretends to love you, give you "widdle kissies" and sits on your lap. Then one night you go to sleep a little too early and the dog creeps into your room brandishing a machete and cuts off your legs! You try to scream, but there is a baby chick shoved in your mouth to muffle your cries! All you see is the Ginger dog laughing maniacally and barking for your 'soul'.
When it comes to a Ginger pet, just remember:
If you wanna live, make a shiv.
Keep a knife on you at all times and sleep with one eye open.