Stairway Denied

So, today was supposed to be the day of reckoning, The Hills aftershow. My sister had been lining up since 3pm with her friend Steph. They don't let people in till 6pm. When I showed up, they were number 550 of about 2000 people. Stairway Denied. We waited till 5pm, at which point a terrential downpour starts and we all say 'fuck it. Not worth it'. People, i cannot describe this lineup. It was at least 4 people wide and a city block long. Jesus LC Christ. Seriously, if for some weird reason Lauren Conrad is reading this, girl do not take this the wrong way; you are not worth waiting in the rain with a bunch of scuzzabutt hoodrats. You know who the real A-holes are though? Jessi Cruickshank and Dan Levy. Not only do they get to meet n' greet LC, Walt Whitman, and Audrina, but they don't have to wait in the rain and get all smelly and damp with their make-up getting all Alice Cooper. So, in honour of them getting to go to The Hills Finale, I have unearthed some embarrasing pictures of them. ENJOY!

Oh, what do we have here? Is this Jessi Cruickshank in a crappy community theatre play? Oh, I think it is! And which community is this theatre in? Why, I think it's Cambridge! Oooh, not even Strattford, but Cambridge. Ooh la la! Were you picked up in a limo everyday by Lino's Limos of Cambridge? I hear they do a great prom special. Boo, I hate you Jessi Cruickshank! Curse you and your gorgeous hair and fantastic clothes and always amazing earrings!

And what's a better cut to the gut than to make fun of someone's Pops? Dan Levy, this is your blood. You're the proud son of the star of:
Cheaper by the Dozen
Cheaper by the Dozen 2
American Pie
American Pie 2
American Wedding
American Pie: Band Camp
American Pie: The Naked Mile
American Pie 6 (Coming soon to a HMV 3/$9.99 bin near you!!)
...and of course
BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE!
Without Eugene Levy, we wouldn't have the classic line "you got me straight talkin' Boo!"

Am I a little bitter? Yes, I am. I should have gotten a press-pass, but what can you do. Something tells me I would not have been granted a Press-Pass for The Skip-Raid. Oh well, Stairway Denied.