Friday F-You

Okay people. The shit has hit the fan. Remember way back when I talked about my affinity for the Handicapped Stall (aka The Luxury Stall) in the public washroom? Well, it seems someone has been using the Luxury Stall at my work. This wouldn't be so bad except that they destroy it every time they use it. Time after time, I have entered my own little Defecation Valhalla to find toilet paper all over the floor, the "sanitary receptacle" covered in "lady mess" and skid marks in the bowl.
And I know who it is, because I caught her TWICE now. She always comes out of the stall with this air of supremacy on her stupid face like "how DARE you use MY luxury stall?!? I'll leave shit stains in the bowl if I so choose!"
People, I suppose my question is this: what is the best way to deal with this unsavoury character? Should I out her as the slippery shitter she is in front of everybody else in the ladies room? Should I leave a little paper lunchsac in the stall with a post-it that says "Hello you filthy mongrel. Here is a bag for all your lady business, because I know it is such a daunting task for you to get your maxi(and may I stress 'maxi') pads into the "sanitary receptacle". Enjoy it, you dirty, unclean skank."? And good people, now is a good time to stress that nobody who works on my floor has a wheelchair/walker/too overweight to fit into the normal stalls. This is an able-bodied woman with an unfortunate problem: bad manners. When I poo, I will flush twice to make sure I don't leave residue in the bowl. Nobody likes to see what you've been eating all day. Judging by the smell and the colour, this woman eats alot of Curry and Pop-Tarts (so hot, they're cool). I swear to god, I need a solution. I used to love the Luxury Stall, as it provided me 5-10 minutes of quiet reflection in an otherwise chaotic public washroom.
Also, it was cleaner, gave me plenty of legroom, and had 2 coat-hooks. The Handicapped Stall is the Lexus of turletts, my friends, and this woman is treating my baby like it was a Hertz Rent-a-Car. If you have any suggestions for me, please leave them for me in the comments section. (and save any suggesstions to "grow up"; I've got enough of those to start a new blog)

And as always, have a great long weekend!! I'll see you all back here on Monday or Tuesday (I haven't decided yet).Also, go out and see Hot Fuzz this weekend! It fucking rolls it!!