Ginger Tuesday

So, apparently some of you were a little dissapointed when you hit-up The Skip-Raid last Thursday expecting a CNTM post and GASP! you got an interview instead. Tough Sugar, sweetie; it was interview week. But in lieu of that, I didn't want you to think I had totally forgotten about the CNTM finale. Oh yes, my pretties, I was saving that for today! Why, because Tuesdays are all about Gingers, and who won CNTM? That's right! The Littlest Ginger herself, Philthy McNasty's newest waitress, and hotdog factory worker Rebecca!Who called it, bitches?!? Meet my fury! I am like that dog that can predict the Superbowl winners (but, you know, on a less-important scale). So yeah, ho straight-up won her contract with Barbizon or whatever and her CoverGirl ad will run once in Toronto Fashion, and she will get a free pair of jeans or something. Awesome! I bet it was totally worth the 2 month lost wages from the hotdog factory (I bet that the hotdog factory pays their employees a shitload of hush-money. I know how that shit works; you see a rat or a snake or a boot go into the blender and you get $100 and 10 extra minutes on your lunch break if you know how to keep your mouth shutskies). I don't think you could pay me enough money to work in a hotdog factory. You wanna know what they do with dog balls when they are done neutering the dog? Now, I have no proof, but I'm pretty sure they go into the GARBAGE. You thought I was going to say hotdog maker, didn't you, you sicko! Shit, this isn't China! Even Maple Leaf and Schneiders have quality controls! Anyways, save the letters about the China comment. Chinese people would never eat hotdogs - they think that shit is gross. Anyways, I think that the Photoshop fairy pulled an all-nighter with Rebecca's CoverGirl shot, because really? It should look a little like this:Wow, I am getting really good with the Microsoft paint, non? First off, Rebecca's chest was never as big as it was in the first picture. Secondly, her hair was always a horrible shade of Ginge. Thirdly, homegirl has pale ass lips. Fourthly, she is probably sponsored by Philthys (where she went on the date with her boyfriend) and there is a little hotdog mascot for her. I call him Chief Hooves-n'-Tails. Anyways, congratulations Rebecca. And lets face it - CNTM will bring you notoriety for about..oh...2, maybe 3 seconds? So you best be hitting the mall with some resumes. I heard H&M is hiring! Work there! Get me a discount!