I honestly thought Craigslist readers were smarter than this.

Okay, so I need to get rid of a bunch of junk at my old house, and rather than selling it, I was just like "fuck it - get it out of my sight" and posted a couple of things on Craigslist. I didn't have a picture of this table I was tossing, so I figured I'd make up a stupid story to get people's attention and maybe they will take this table off my hands. Please click on the image to make it larger, because I want you to know how effing rediculous the story is. In case you can't read it, the table is singing "I feel good". I was thinking of going with "Papa's got a brand new bag", but that just screams Mrs. Doubtfire, and I want people thinking about picking up this free table, not Robin Williams in a fat suit.
Long story short, I got a crapload of emails in my inbox from people who want this table. One such email went like this:
HI
Just curious, but what makes you beleive the table is haunted? Details of this would be much appreciated as Iam fascinated by the whole phenomenon
thanks
So of course I tell her not to test faith, and that is is totally haunted. I was bored. Throught I'd play along. Then I get this reply (I wish I could say I was making this up, but sadly I am copying-and-pasting from my emails):
I appreciate that. However, since Iam doing research on paranormal activities, I would just like to know how you know this table is haunted.
Would you mind giving me details?
I KNOW!! WTF, right? I figured this was some tard playing me, so I decided to have a little fun:
The table speaks to me at night time singing "its a man's world" real loud, and then I go downstairs and the table is raiding my liquor cabinet and stealing money from me to blow on drugs. Then the table will get up to leave and the couch cushions will put a cape over the table's shoulders. Then, just when you think the table is gone, he throws off the cape and comes back in. Sometimes the table gets into fights and slaps bitches around. Usually this all calms down when my lamp (which is haunted by the ghost of Ray Charles) steps in to intervene. This happens at least 3, maybe 4 times a week. Its getting a little rediculous. Thats why i am giving it away.
Everybody appreciates a little humour, so I was a little stunned to get this back:
What? Yeah right
Uh, exsqueeze me? Baking powder? Is this bitch for real?
No, for serious. You can totally come to my house and see it. It will steal money from you too! Don't come over with coke in your pockets, or it will take it.
You pick the table up at:
123 Fake St (major interseciton of Gullible and Moron)
Paranormal Activities are Bullshit-ville
Are you serious? Lady, you need to get out more.
I thought this would be the end of it. I thought she would read it and go "you know what? I am a bit of an idiot. A table haunted by the late James Brown? What was I thinking?" But nooooo....
ummmm no you do
you posted it. you wasted peoples time and energy
I only answered becasue I was curious how you thought the table was haunted.
so there
Lesson Learned: some people do not have a sense of humour. And to the 25 other people who emailed me about the table, pick it up Saturday!
Have a great weekend, urrbods!