Goddamned Ginger Wednesday

So, I wasn't sure if I was going to write about last night's Law & Order: SVU. let me tell you - it was a good one. Law & Order is like the VHI of dead-beat celebrity career revival. Last week it was Sabrina the Teenage Witch. This weeks guest star? Joanna Kerns aka Maggie Seaver from Growing Pains. Yeah!! She was such a bitch to DA Casey Novak. Uh...wait. On second viewing, that isn't Maggie Seaver. Shit. Get Joanna Kerns on the phone! Anyways, I realize that last week I got schooled by a bunch of hardcore SVU fans in the comments section, so I am using my get out of jail free card and not mentioning any more details of SVU. I just can't take the haterade. Actually, I can. I am just lazy. So I was picking my Ginger for today, and all signs were pointing to a Fry from Futurama post (he is a sort-of Ginger). But I am tired of doing animated Gingers. The Gingers that haunt my dreams and curse my days are real. Real, I tells ya!
So who is this week's Ginger? Oh boy, it's a good one...

Website is currently being a dick and will not let me post pictures.

Name: Chris Owen
Age: 27
Why is he famous? Two words: The Sherminator
I know this post is a little late; after all, the American-Can't-Hardly-All-That-Pie zeitgeist was about 8 years ago (shit, I'm old). But really, this guy, despite being super-duper ugly and minimally talented, he keeps getting work. This is the face of a true Ginger, people. The orange hair. The patches of hideous freckles. No eyelashes. Are you looking at his arms?!? Ew ew ew ew!! Also, he looks sort of like a squinty Mole. Or an opossum. Some kind of large rodent. Anyways, let's take inventory of all the highschool/college movies The Sherminator has been in, shall we?
Can't Hardly Wait
She's All That
American Pie
Going Greek
American Pie 2
Van Wilder
A Midsummer's Night Rave (?)
National Lampoon's Dorm Daze
American Pie Band Camp
National Lampoon's Dorm Daze 2
National Lampoon's Gold Diggers
Jesus Christ, take it easy on the sperm-as-food movies. Something tells me that American Pie 8: Lil' Stiffler's Day Out isn't going to garner you an Oscar. Hell, I think we'd be over-shooting with an MTV Award. I doubt we'll even see a SpikeTV award. The closest he will come to an award is a sticker from Dr. Shapiro after he joins the No Cavity Club.
The grossest thing I found out (after doing a little detective work. I am just like Det. Benson!) was that this guy, this uggers McGinger got married this summer. EW! Who would marry this?!? It's probably the dog from Van Wilder. Thoughts?