The Hills: fakeity-fake-fake!

Recap: bla bla bla TeenVOGUE party bla bla bla Spencer and Frankie bla bla bla Marc Jacobs. There, I just told you the whole episode. Why am I being so Hills-callous, you ask? Because I have been duped. We all know that The Hills has a titch of a fakery. But with recent allegations coming forward of the show being a big fat lie, do you not feel a little deceived? Does it not feel like a knife in your back? No? You say I need to get out more? Touche; you win. Can we not take a moment and examine what shocked us, and what just made us go "meh...yeah, saw that one coming".

SHOCKER! Lauren's date with Gavin was a fake.
Yeah, it seemed pretty fake. Prettyboy blonde model Gavin claims that the Hills producers asked him to ask LC for her phone number and that the whole date was a fake. Drawing on photgraphs compared side-by-side by Perez Hilton and others showing LC with nail polish on the date, and then no nail polish when she calls Brody for a booty call, Gavin sets the record straight. He and LC were on their date till almost 3am. That would mean that LC would have gone home, taken her nail polish off, re-curled her hair, and called Brody for a booty call sometime around 4am. I don't think so. But that brings me to my next comment...

SHOCKER! Lauren and Audrina don't live at Hollywood Villas...or with eachother.
Apparently, the Hills producers just rent out Lauren and Audrina's apartment for shooting. That would be why you only really see the living room and the room where Lauren curls her hair. Also, it always looks ghetto-empty. It makes sense though; why would a girl who makes $300 thousand an episode need a roomate to help her pay rent? Which leads us to Audrina...

SHOCKER! Audrina doesn't have a job.
Audrina is seen coming home from work in a tonne of episodes. Which is funny, because homegirl isn't on Epic Record's payroll. Uh oh! Someone is jerbless!! They have a deal with Epic's offices to go in and film a few scenes once a month with Audrina sitting at the front holding a phone to her ear. It all makes sense now. Everytime they mentioned her job I thought "Audrina knows how to use a phone?" And speaking of fake-o jobs-o...

SHOCKER! Heidi doesn't work at Bolthouse.
Uh oh. This is getting deep. Again, they go in a few times a month with Heidi and film some scenes with her and Brent and Elodie and pretend she has a job. That would make sense, since it seems she has an awful lot of time to film music videos on the beach with Spencer. Wait, do you remember that crack from last week where she was like "Hey Spencer, get a job you lazy ass". Okay, so it wasn't like that, but it was close. My my, Heidi, how the tables have turned. Why don't YOU try getting a job, you fake-tittied ho-bag. Now that I think of it, I bet Lauren doesn't even work at TeenVOGUE anymore. Ouch.

But what does this all mean for us, they loyal viewers? It means we are much, much stupider and more gullible than we thought. I feel like such a tard. I knew that LC was a hidden bitch and that Heidi and Spencer have to do every scene four or five times, but Audrina? A jobless, useless, vapid...okay, fine. I should have seen that coming. But Heidi not working for Brent Bolthouse? Gavin taking Lauren on a fake-date? Brody not actually living in that beach house where they party all the time?
I feel cheated.