Ginger Tuesday

Hello friends! How are you all this week? Good weekend? Go on - respond to my questions. Talk to your computer. Fuck, sorry, I am lamesville thismorning. Why? I just ate an Egg McMuffin and Hashbrowns from McDonalds and I am ready for seepy-time. You know what's best? McDonalds breakfast and then sleeping on the couch with That's So Raven playing in the background. Holla! You know what else is good? Getting an extra hashbrown and putting inside the Egg McMuffin (or Sausage McMuffin, if you will). My friend Chris taught me that. I am forever indebted to him. Alright, moving on. Today's Featured Ginger was a tough one, because (sadly) there is an unending list of famous Gingers and I can barely narrow them down week afetr week. This week, I was considering Disney Gingers: Ariel, Jessica Rabbit, Peter Pan, uh...Copper from The Fox and the Hound. See what I mean? It gets lame, fast. I was also thinking about Lois Griffin, but she isn't really a Ginger. So until I can find some serious Gingers (Kathy Griffin doesn't count - she is a fake Ginge) I have decided to find a couple of pictures of real Gingers.
WARNING! THE FOLLOWING PICTURES ARE NSFW (not safe for work), NSFE (not safe for eyes), NSFTWJAB (not safe for those who just ate breakfast).

Ew ew ew. This kid is so sick. Right here is the perfect example of a Ginger if I have ever seen one. You know how people say "that's a face only a mother could love"? I'm sorry, but what mother (asides from a Ginger herself) could love this face? This is a face for radio. Wait, I take that back. This is a face for years spent wearing a ski mask. Take a good look at the eyelashes though. Yeah, did you barf a little in your mouth too? Oh my God, it's only going to get worse for this kid. Highschool is going to be a nightmare.

This kid looks kind of like this Ginger that I went to Elementary School with. His name was Jesse Hegland, and he was a foster kid. He wasn't like a normal foster kid who stole and smoked and slashed teacher's tires and shit. He was actually pretty well-liked and people thought he was funny. He was usually sassing our teacher. Anyways, one time our teacher, a massive Hippie, got so tired of his smart mouth that he broke and yelled at him "you're such a screw up!" (or something to that nature) and Jesse goes "I know!" and starts crying. Yeah, can you imagine how awkward this was for our grade 4 class? Anyways, long story short, watching a Ginger cry is less "sad", more "gross". I wonder where he is now (prison?).

That hair is such a mess. Also, what is it with Gingers and wearing purple? Jesus Christ, you're not a Power Ranger.

Whaaa? A whole family, eh? Let me put money on the following things that are probably true about this family:
- the dad is a heavy smoker.
- the mom is a heavy drinker (and, by the looks of it, a heavy eater too).
- the daughter's name is Chyanne or Brandy and her dream is to one day graduate Junior High and become a model at car shows.
- the son, who's name is probably Lance or Richard, gets really bad grades in school and was recently suspended for biting a teacher.

I saved the best for last, as its not often you get a Ginger that would still look hideous even if you dyed their hair brown or blonde. Both of these kids are pretty tragic, that's for damn sure. I am not even sure to say about these two; like, you know how cruel I can be sometimes, and these are just kids. Shit, they are real too. Its one thing to make fun of a character from television...aw, fuck it. That girl needs to apply for Extreme Makeover, stat. No, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. They need to level her and rebuild from the ground up. And the little boy? Proof that not all babies are cute. His mom should have seriously considered baby-switching at the hospital.

Aw cripes, I am so going to Hell.