Ginger Tuesday

Okay, so obviously the new Ginger website isn't completely up yet. Yeah, I'm lazy. Remember when I was sick last week? When was I supposed to get it all done? Fuck, you're right. I'm a lazy bitch and I should have gotten my ass in gear. I was actually debating whether or not I wanted to do a Ginger post, or watch Oliver Stone's The Doors. Luckily for me, The Doors was made for simpletons who's minds have been ravaged by acid, so I can do both at the same time. Anyways, I don't want to leave you hanging like a pair of old schwetty balls, so here is today's Ginger!!Name: Susan Sarandon
Age: I dunno...77? Old, that's all I know.
Why is she famous? Doye, she's Shawshank's wifey! Just kidding. Susan Sarandon is a hot bitch. She can out-act any Hollywood broad any day of the week. Plus, she is funny as heckers and doesn't take herself too seriously. My only issue with her is that she's so 1 step forward, 2 steps back. It seems like just when she makes a really good movie, she follows it up with 1 or 2 really bad ones. The fuck? Does Tim Robbins have an expensive drug habit or something? Why is she so hard up for dollars?
For instance...
The Rocky Horror Picture Show...is awesome (albeit the last 10 minutes are so fucking weird)
Bull Durham...is probably shit. I haven't seen it, but I knows what I likes, and I knows what I hates. And I hates baseball and Kevin Costner.
Thelma & Louise...is a "chick flick", yes, but it is pretty damn good. They do go crazy and kill themselves at the end. What more do you want from a movie?
Little Women...was so sappy. Crap, I liked it at the time, but that's because I was 11 years old.
That time she played the ballet teacher on The Simpsons...was very funny. "Bart! Leap! Leap like you've never lept before!"
Dead Man Walking...got her an Oscar, so I guess that's good.
Stepmom...ugh, do I need to even explain why that was a shitty choice?
Anywhere But Here...uh oh, there's two bad ones in a row...
The Banger Sisters...yikes, someone needs to turn this car around and drive back to Winnipeg...
Shall We Dance?...uh oh, too late. We've crashed the station wagon into a telephone pole and the car has burst into flames.
Elizabethtown...oh yeah, here come's the meatwagon. The new guys' in the corner, puking his guts out, while the coroner says "Oh...My...God"

But you know, I guess she wants to keep working, so I can't hate on her. But if she wants another Oscar, she is gonna have to do some more serious shit. No more "mid-life crisis soccer mom" shit. She needs to get real Lizard King Jim Morrison. Imagine an Indian following her ass around. Get high in a cave, stuff like that. Sorry, I got really into The Doors. Just remember; if you give this man a ride, sweet family will die. Killer on the road.