I will pay someone to hit Craig Mazin and Jason Friedberg with their car.

Seriously. Please apply to skipraid@gmail.com. No experience necessary. This is a non-paying gig, but isn't knowing that you are preventing more shitty movies from being made payment enough? I would do it myself, but I think that if I came within 5 feet of those two Tard Snaps, I might turn a gun on myself. I wouldn't want to; my brain would be performing a mercy killing on itself. I honestly don't think I could handle hearing them make lame, tired jokes about movie parodies.
What was I getting at again? Ah yes. This weekend we will see dozens upon dozens of 13 year olds racing to the local AMC to see Superhero Movie. What the hell? It apparently takes a mere 4 months to write, produce, cast, and shit out a parody film (meh...doesn't surprise me). Jesus, my eyes haven't even had enough recovery time from the raping they got with Meet The Spartans, and already we have Superhero Movie? I think this movie was shelved for 6 years or something, because are you taking a look at the lampooned characters? X-Men? Spider Man? Leslie Nielsen? Shit, don't call me Shirley. All these movies first came out in like, 2001. What, Batman & Robin didn't play out well enough in parody?
But really, will I see this? Uh, maybe. It does have Tracy Morgan (awesome) and...uh...who the fuck else is worth $12? No one. Maybe I will just rent 30 Rock or SNL Best of Tracy Morgan. Hey, that isn't a bad idea.
Leave your predictions for future Movies in the comments. Oscar Movie will happne...trust. That, or TV Movie. Ugh, I joke, but in 3 months we will have those, plus Dog Movie, Computer-Animated Movie, and Ghetto Movie. Speaking off which, I found a website this week called Stuff Ghetto People Like. I can't believe I am saying this, but I may have found a website that even offends me. Its obviously a parody of Stuff White People Like, but you know...with more malt liquor. Yep. I would take a look at this, but try to avoid reading it if you work with a black person who lives in Community Housing. They might be offended (if they aren't, then they are clearly illiterate and you should teach them to read. Maybe introduce them to Reading Rainbow. Everyone can relate to LeVar Burton).