White Trash Potato Chips
What's crappenin, turds? How is your summer so far? Mine is pretty good. Last night I had a hankering (who the fuck says that?) for some white-trash chips. I call them that because, no offense to the good Highschool gradutates and recent Parolees of Humpty Dumpty, but these are the chips you would get when you went to the poor kid's Birthday party in Elementary School. Don't get me wrong; chips is cheap, and you don't want to spoil a bunch of no-good 7 year olds with the good stuff (aka Lays) but come on. These things were practically made with deep-fried sawdust. Or worse - what happens when you go to the foot doctor and he cuts off your corns? Those! Corn-clippins. Ugh, fuck, it is too early in the week to be talking about deep-fried callouses.
Anyways, I am keeping this short, as I promise a good post for you this week. Honest Injun. Uh oh, the Racism Siren just went off in my brain. I wish that wasn't so horribly offensive, cause I like that term. I feel I should be able to use that as long as people keep using the term 'gypped'. Like when you go to the store, and your change is $1.07, and the cashier just gives you 3 quarters and a few pennies? "She Gypped me 30 cents!" Yeah, you know what that is like? Saying "they Jewed me". Uh huh! You are a racist bastard!!! No one would say 'jewed' (unless you were my friend Zoe in the 12th grade, who didn't make the connection to Jewish people until someone had to sit her down and tell her) but plenty of people still say Gypped. It's offensive to Gypsies. Who are esentially nomadic Slavic peoples. And as someone who is Polish, and frequently evicted from their apartment, I take a great offense to that.
Not really, I just needed a high horse. Go ahead and say Gypped till your jaw hurts.
Moving on. If you are on Facebook (and who isn't really...well, people with lives) then I strongly suggest you join either the group dirtygingers.com or add Skip Raid as a friend. Or not, I don't care!!
Actually I do, and very much so. I am a deeply insecure person who needs lots of love and attention and the feeling of being needed. But that was who Facebook was invented for! Hey-o!
Anyways, peace out friends. See you later this week. And PS - if I had balls, they would be batwinging like crazy this week, cause it was hot as a motherfucking crotch.
6 comments:
I hear people say things like, "Oh, that is so jewish!" and , "Hey, don't jew me." all the time. They use it interchangeably with stupid or retarded or ridiculous, the way that a lot of people use "gay".
Now if I was wearing my yarmulke and singing the complete song list from Fiddler on the Roof and someone said, "That is so jewish!" I wouldn't have a problem, and if I were wearing my pink sparkly yarmulke and singing a bunch of showtunes and someone was like,"How gay!", that would be fine too. But when someone uses those words to mean something entirely unrelated and negative, I can't help but get my gay jew feelings hurt. Sniffle. Come up with some new fucking negative adjectives if you are tired of all the old ones. Quit appropriating all of the facets of my cultural and sexual identity!
Oh, and speaking of show tunes, how was Degrassi: The Musical?
Degrassi hasn't started yet, but it looks like i am going to miss it (BOO). I will be moving to MTL in July, so I need to save up my coins.
Montreal? How chi-chi of you to move to the Paris of the North. If you were really adventurous, you'd move to Ukkusiksalik in Nunavut. That would get your creative writing juices flowing, non?
Oh, that is exciting and sucky at the same time. Save up those loonies and twonies, and get yo' self a nice apartment girl.
Oh no! I am part of Degrassi! and was so excited when you were our first Google hit way back when!
I went to TamTams with the actress who plays Stephanie Kay in it. I would give my right arms (def leppard styles) to go and see it, but alas. I am broke.
Please send enveloped with money in it to: The Mayor c/o Skip-Raid
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