My Newest Obsession: Daniela the Beauty Chola

While perusing YouTube for zit-popping videos and clips of people extracting blackheads (I NEED HELP) I stumbled upon the classic beauty and professional instruction of Daniela, the Beauty Chola. Here's the jist: Daniela (who I believe probably trained under Kevyn Aucoin or Paula Begouin) sits in front of her Nikon Coolpix preaches Glamour on the Cheap, Cholita style. That means mixing eyeshadow with Visine, filing your own acrylic nails, and using foundation as lipcolour, all for under $0.50. It only makes sense: Jappy girls have Sephora, Drag Queens have MAC, Old Ass Memaws have Elizabeth Arden, Cholas have Rite Aid (Duane Reade if we are talking Spanish Harlem).

But seriously, I love instructional videos and I love the makeup ladies in department stores. Have you ever sat in the chair at Clinique and let them test foundations on your skin? Well it goes without saying that I have, many times; it is very relaxing and makes you feel like Paris Hilton (minus the debilitating herpes outbreaks). I also love Daniela because she pronounces Rimmel like I do (REE-mell). Click here to see her YouTube channel and to watch all her exquisite videos, but please enjoy 3 of my favourites.

Daniela the Beauty Chola showing off all her new makeup. This woman needs to write a book on the art of natural makeup. I bet she isn't even wearing any - she is probably one of those lucky bitches who wakes up looking like that. But seriously people, I am not familiar with the complex world of finance, but I urge you to purchase stock in Duane Reade. As long as Daniela is receiving a cheque on the 1st and 15th of every month, she will be keeping DR in business. Sidebar - did you hear Dora The Explorer playing in the background?


Daniela the Beauty Chola describing the best way to remove blackheads. This video is great because it is 9 whole minutes of her talking like a Chola and touching her face with her Frito nails. Those acrylics are intense; they practically sit 1 inch off her nail bed. Also, please note the jewels on a few of the nails. Nails aside, people with acne need to take note. You want to solve your pizza faced problems? Throw out the Proactiv, empty your bottles of Clean and Clear, and wrap your fingers in turlet paper (but none of that expensive stuff like Charmin).
Also, I love how her bathroom looks like the inside of a film industry wardrobe trailer.


Daniela the Beauty Chola putting in hair extensions. Dios mio!! If you haven't been convinced yet that Daniela is the 21st Century's Grace Kelly, then this video will do just that. Grace, class, and sophistication all the way. And then if she couldn't get any classier, she finishes the video with some R. Kelly. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yes, I believe we have found the Hispanic Gwyneth Paltrow.