The Morning After: Bromance

Oooh Brody. So hot. Want to touch the heiney. JK - you all know I'm Team Brandon Jenner. So last night was Episode 4 of Bromance, Brody Jenner's amazing critically-acclaimed-is-it-too-soon-to-start-writing-an-Emmy-speech television show where he searches for his new BFF. I'm sorry, but is Frankie Delgado dead?? He has been relegated to job as Producer for the show (yeah, that's one to put on the resume). Regardless. If you haven't seen it, I totally understand; it's on at a weird time (Monday nights at 9:00pm) but last night my roomates and I made a point to pencil in time for Brody and his sad rag-tag team of losers. When I say losers, I need to stress that these guys are lew-hew-hew-oosers! Also, it goes without saying that this show is more homoerotic than a hard-core gay porn site. Here are a few details which would lead us to believe that Brody is looking for more than a friend:

- they all live in a frat house (and from what I know about frat houses, they are filled to the brim with ass-slapping, excessive nudity, and anal-hazing).

- Frankie walks in on Brody showering. More than once. Brody showers in a curtain-less shower. He is usually very very soapy.

- when one of the contestants wins one-on-one time with Brody, it's called a date.

- the guys have to plan fun activities to keep Brody entertained (Brody sounds like Hedonism-bot from Futurama). Such activities include: making a slip-n-slide in the backyard, having a livingroom dance party, a grooming and style tutorial.

- one of the contestant's names is Femi.

- last night Jered was eliminated by being blindfolded while paintballs were shot on his chest.

- oh yeah, and this:"I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down down down, but the flames went higher." The jokes write themselves, really.

I'd love to get into the cast, but they are all such pathetic bores that I will just link to them. I will say this, though: last night we got to see Chris F, Femi, and Jered bawl their eyes out. I know, 3 criers. This show is retarded. I will say this - Luke FTW! I love his Boston accent; I like a guy who will boss me around. Jokes! The accent is great, but his eyes are really gorgeous (you can't tell in the picture, so you'll just have to watch the show. Or not, I don't give a rat's ass).