CNTM Cycle 3, Episode 4: the one where the girls dance like hoochies and Rebekkah has a breakdown

The Mayor: omg - Rebekkah is talking to her dad???? I thought she was talking to her boyfriend!!
Ty: Gross. I'm glad we got to see the girls eating. Do we get to see them ralphing next?
The Mayor: IRINA LAZAREANU!!!!!!! Amazing! My fav! Uh oh - Maryam needs some serious ESL lessons. Rebekkah is fucking annoying.


Ty: I just fell in love with Meghan even more. Cause Rebekkkkahhhh made her want to ralph. that's two ralph references!
The Mayor: Ralphie - you'll shoot your eye out!
Ty: did Mike paint that shirt on?
The Mayor: "Trying to draw charisma out of every girl" - GOOD FUCKING LUCK
Ty: I would do something ridiculous to Meaghan in a burlap sack
The Mayor: "Whaddup?" Oh Nikita. Such class.
Ty: wait....if she's dyslexic, doesn't that mean she can't read at all? or does that make me wicked ignorant?
The Mayor: Linsay reminds me of Nina Presson from The Cardigans. "I'm not as well educated". Girl, it’s a miracle you can speak the Queen's English at all.


Ty: residential school system!
The Mayor: Should I be getting turned on by Mike Ruiz?
Ty: I think he wants you to be
The Mayor: Heather just totally won me over by pronouncing all the designer names right. Channel?? CHANNEL??!?!?
Ty: Channel 12 news?
The Mayor: AHAHAH. Dwar - FUCK! These girls want to be models? They can't even pronounce common designers
Ty: wait....I'm a 20 something male and I know how to pronounce this shit! you know, because I often say....sweetheart, can you take your Dior panties off my head please...or.....I love how that Dolce dress looks on my floor
The Mayor: you wish. it's more like "damn girl, lemme try on those Dior panties!"
Ty: or...., “I can see your pubes through those busted up Old Navy drawers”
The Mayor: AHAHAHAHA
Ty: Meghan needs to stop haunting me
The Mayor: Meghan is great, Heather is great. Rebekkah is annoying. Nikita is a scunt. The rest? SNORE


Ty: Final three.....Meghan, Heather and Nikita? okay....calm down...they're in a Dermo office
The Mayor: I need to pay attention to this, cause my skin is BROKE. YES - look how close they are!?
Ty: are you having a chick boner over this?
The Mayor: yes - I can only imagine what mine would look like
Ty: I kinda want to see mine
The Mayor: I want my skin analyzed. mine would break the machine
Ty: where is this place? can I write that off you think? Olay ad!
The Mayor: I want to take that Olay online quiz - although my Dermo has already told me not to use stuff from the drugstore. Rebekkah is going home
Ty: 'I can feel people watching me' ummm.....yes, they're called your demons
The Mayor: what a loser
Ty: Yeh...she's totes going home. Nikita is heartless
The Mayor: oh man, crying in the utility closet - it's like they've been spying on me!
Ty: ha! Tara’s skin looks worse than ever now that I know to focus on it
The Mayor: Oh my god...did they put the only black girl in black-face? Oooooh...that's racist!


Ty: is there such thing as brown face? Or Asian face?Meghan....I'll give you a reason to cover up your mouth


The Mayor: did Meghan just say her mom would make her practice smiling with her eyes??! Made Up Story Time
Ty: are you getting sick of these Meghan comments?
The Mayor: Rebekkah stayed there? what? ugh, get over it
Ty: did Nikita just pick up her gitch? does that imply that she runs around without it?


The Mayor: Ew - nice massive neck zit, Rebekkah
Ty: maybe it's an anxiety zit. Or an 'I'm a big weirdo' zit. or a 'I'm unique, but only because I hate myself' zit
The Mayor: whatever, I want to see it popped
Ty: of course you would. Pimple popper m.d. Tara is going home. Just sayin. Mostly for racial reasons. To continue the 'brown cut-down'.
The Mayor: I’m gonna say Tara is hitting the pavement tonight
Ty: I already said that! - you must have been getting a wang in the pooper when I mentioned that
The Mayor: I am. Ow! knock it off, Tito!
Ty: Nikita is fuckin good


The Mayor: yea, I'll admit it. Whoah, Tara - way to mess up something so fucking simple. Linsay just 1/2 macked on Jay
Ty: Jay doesn't get down with the wigwam love
The Mayor: AHAHAHAHHAAHA. He'd rather take a teepee to the papoose
The Mayor: omg - Meghan’s little dance - adorable!
Ty: Meaghan......I'll give her experience working with her mouth
(you saw that coming)
(maybe she will too)
(booya)
(!!!)
The Mayor: (I get it!!!) how you did you become the rude one? you're the classy one. you're showing me up
Ty: I am? oh....was that in my contract? maybe you need to amp up your love for Mike
The Mayor: this would be so much easier if Nigel Barker was around. I'd be so much easier if Nigel Barker was around
Ty: fill in the blank: I would like to ____ on Mike's rippled chest and _____ in his Quebecois face
The Mayor: um....shit and fart?
Ty: boooo!
The Mayor: what would you have put!
Ty: 'run my fingers over like a book of Braille' and 'breathe the scent of poutine and liberal politics'
The Mayor: Wow- that's sexual. I know what you're dreaming of tonight
Ty: Linsay, the judges feel that they needed a 2nd last and you lost the coin toss
The Mayor: Linsay, we needed to scare your Indian ass into working harder
Ty: were those the sounds Jay makes when....wait...I AM the dirty one!
The Mayor: you are.