Tom Goes to the Mayor and my black eye

Okay, so here's a little known fact about me. I moonlight as a bartender, and this Saturday I was at work (as uzge) and a guy I work with asked if I ever watch Tom Goes to the Mayor. Well, durr of course. Its fucking hilarious. So I started thinking back and was quoting some episodes ("Gibbinns!"..."Gibbaaaaaaans!") and I started singing the Rick-a-dick-a-dick handshake song. If you don't know what I am talking about, you can watch it here. Anyways, I got about halfway through the song (somewhere around "ring-a-dingding ring-a-dingding") and I started laughing HYSTERICALLY. Cripes, its a funny handshake, give me a break. So yeah, I thought "you better gain composure; they're not paying you to do the TGTTM Handshake" and went to pick up a bottle from a lower shelf and BOOM - I smoked my face off the corner of the marble bar. I threw my hands up to check if my eye was still there (it was) and there was blood gushing through my fingers! It was like Carrie! I had cut a huge chunk out of my eye under my eyebrow and blood was dripping through my eyelashes. So the guy I was working with took me to the first aid in the kitchen and threw some antiseptic on that bad boy and got me some ice. So I got to go home early from work, but I have a seriously busted eye. Its pretty bruised and I can't think of a cool story. I think I might go with "someone smacked me in the face while playing Wii Sports" or something (cause then people will think I own a Wii).
PS - you can check out who saved my ass here. He is trying to win some money for something by having people vote for him or something. Clearly he owes some dangerous people a lot of money.