True Facts about The Mayor

What's crappenin' friends? How was your weekend? Mine was pretty solid; went out Friday to my friend Paul's house. Which reminds me - a shout-out goes out today to Paul's partner. Can't remember her name...Michelle or Melissa or something with an M. Regardless, a new reader is a new friend. Holy shit, did I just write that? Wow, I obviously took in too much car exhaust this weekend (don't act like you don't love sniffing on the end of a tailpipe).

Anyways, wasn't too sure what to write today since I had a bit of a strange weekend. I had a massive headache on Saturday and stayed in my house watching DVDs all day. And while that does sound like a cute Lily Allen song, I should remind you that I had no cat in the house and barely any snacks. Also, I haven't done my laundry in weeks (2 to be exact) and I had nothing but leggings and a bleach-splattered t-shirt. I just got it at American Apparel last week which means it is going to look rad for about 2 days and then start falling apart at the seams.Santa Maria, how did this model sneak into the photo shoot? Shit, remember when American Apparel models had at least a shred of hottness? This girl looks like the girls I went to High School with who were really into Music Class. Ouch, her mug is hurting my eyes. Can't. Look.

Moving on. This weekend I did some pretty embarrassing things. Know what I hate? When people are like "I'm so nerdy! I watch Saved By The Bell reruns/play Mario Kart/shop at Salvation Army!!". That is not fucking nerdy, that is cool. What I do is true nerd. I collect old-tymey cookbooks (and not for keeping on my coffee table to be ironic, either. I actually make recipes from them). I knit small mice for cats. I have every line memorized from Mean Girls. And yet I still have friends. It's a miracle. But yeah, here are some True Facts about me. Enjoi!

FACT:
I have 4 Minutes by Madonna on my iPod.
Okay, first things first - I need to stress that I got my iPod free when someone bought a computer like, 2 years ago. I don't want you to think I am cruising town with a Touch or an iPhone or anything. Just thought I'd put that out there. But I actually downloaded 4 Minutes and I LOVE IT. This would be a great time to stress that I think Madonna was invented to keep people stupid and that Timbaland uses the same damn beats in every song. He is almost as repetitive as NERD (not quite as annoying). For serious though, I have listened to it several times and it is growing on me like crabs (which I have never had - just saying).
For reals, though, Madonna needs to retire. She is killing me with lameness.

FACT:
I think Judd Apatow's Freaks and Geeks is overrated.
Sorry. It is. I rented the DVDs this weekend from my local Blockbuster (because I live in a Moms-n'-Dads-n'-Kids neighborhood, so there is narry a good video store). I was super curious because it is always on every critics Top 10 lists and shit and people are constantly comparing Judd Apatow to Jesus (they shouldn't...he's not that great). I won't deny it - it is a good show. A great show? Yeah, sorry. He tried to make a TV show about the 'losers' and instead just glamourized the less-than-popular kids. Jesus, at my High School the 'freaks' were some of the cool kids. At least they were accepted by them. In my school, people were apathetic to the real freaks and geeks; they acted like they didn't exist. I think that's worse.

FACT:
Eagle vs. Shark is fucking amazing.
I remember waaay back to like, 2 years ago, when I heard the rumblings about this movie and was very very excited. Then it came out and everyone blasted it for being a sub-par Napoleon Dynamite. Since the only people who really like Napoleon Dynamite now are frat boys and moronic girls with terrible taste, I decided to pass. It wasn't until much later when my friend Lauren asked if I had seen it, and then told me I need to. Well, I finally rented it and must say: it is NOTHING like Napoleon Dynamite. Yes, they are social misfits (like Napoleon Dynamite) but that is the core theme of like, thousands of movies. Ugh, no what I hated most about Napoleon Dynamite? Everyone was pretty good looking. They basically just put a bunch of goofy outfits on people and were like "Okay! Now pretend you are just a bunch of goofy weirdos!!" With Eagle vs. Shark, they are all actually very plain and gross, their homes are crummy and stale. Anyways, it pisses me off to see so many critic compare Eagle vs. Shark to Napoleon Dynamite on Rotten Tomatoes, because the two could not be more different. See it.

Get to know your Mayor

Have you ever wondered what I am like? Yeah, I don't blame you - you have better things to do. But since I have to bridge the gap between Ginger Tuesday and ANTM Thursday, here is a little peek into my life. Now would be a good time for a long piss break.As you already know, I am cat-sitting for the next two months. It's okay, but the cat is such a dooshbag Williamsburg hipster. All he talks about is chicken wings and Labatt 50 and Vampire Weekend. He says he enjoys American Idol on an ironic level, but I think it's because he secretly likes shitty music like Nickleback.
PS - that's not me in the picture, btw. Just thought I would clarify.I collect Cubes. It's nerdy, but they are sort of cool. They are little miniatures of an office with little computers and little motivational posters and stuff. I tried to think of a couple of cool set ups, but this is all I could think of...2 Girls 1 Cup. The only way this even slightly resembles 2 Girls 1 Cup is the fact that it is 2 ladies and a little cup. Sadly, Cubes do not come with little plastic turds. Actually, that's a good thing. I tried to set them up again, but Tiny Town was ravaged by GODZIRRA!!I got to the office before the cat ate the IT guy or started choking on the fax machine.I'm sure if you imagined what I looked like, I might be a fat goth or a sad loner cat lady or something. Maybe, but not quite. I am actually very girly. This is my dresser. Every piece on it I wear in regular rotation. Uh...not the sunglasses. Those are the cats. NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!!

Happy Last Day o' 2007!

I wasn't sure what to do today as I should be preparing for a super fun New Years Eve. Me and a bunch of friends are going to make sandwiches with a panini press(thanks Jordan!) and waffles with a waffle iron (thanks Santa!) and we might go sledding on Crazy Carpets (if I can get my ass to the hardware store to buy a few). Anyways, I sometimes get emails asking about myself. I haven't ever posted a picture of myself and not much is known about me and my real name, which I like. Sorry, but I loves me some privacy. I put my pants on one leg at a time just like you (unless you are a paraplegic, in which case I'm sorry you need a bit of help putting on pants). So I found this little infographic over on Lesley Arfin's blog and I thought I would fill it out. Enjoy, and see you in the new year!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Bluey

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Peanutbutter-Chocolate Peanutbutter

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
A-Dav

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Yello Seal

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Margaret Toronto

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Daval

7. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The" + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Black Diet Soda

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Al Dale

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Amazing Grace Skittles

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names )
Margaret Edward

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher's last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Drewell Detroit

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Halloween Narcissus

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you're wearing right now + "ie" or "y")
Cherry Tightsie

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Clementine Cedar

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: ("The" + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + "Tour")
The Printmaking Snow Tour